The Onion spotlights key features of new Apple Net radio service

Monday, June 10, 2013 - 12:15pm

Online satire newspaper has a very funny and characteristically clever list of "top features" of the new Apple Internet radio service today.

They are:

  • Each song preceded by 45-minute Tim Cook presentation
  • Option to play a different song in each earbud
  • Tons of Floyd
  • A daily morning zoo show with Siri and her rowdy friends
  • Ability to lower volume is disabled whenever a really good song is playing
  • Is eager to please
  • Audiobook chapters from Steve Jobs’ biography constantly sprinkled in throughout users’ listening sessions
  • Access to millions of songs readily available on Pandora, Spotify, and Google Play

See it at The Onion here.

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